people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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