That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
