even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
