I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
you made out with another girl for some wings
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
