I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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