guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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