I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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