I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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