we have pet lesbian snakes
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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