I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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