He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize