I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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