Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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