one might say we're banned from that church
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
