i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
