her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
