What a fucking waste of an outfit
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
