I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
