i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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