if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
