Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
