I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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