Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
