Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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