Your dad touched me again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
