Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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