THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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