I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
