very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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