this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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