I wannas sexs uuuuu
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
