remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
