Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
