Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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