You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
