I bet he comes in French.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
