You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
