oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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