David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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