I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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