"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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