Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
