I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
