I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
