Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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