I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
