"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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