I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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