Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
