god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
