he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
