We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
