he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
They took my balls.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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